Tag: Sea of Galilee

Day 991: The Subjective Science of Getting Friendly With Your Water

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Good morning, water. You look lovely today. The way you have meticulously extracted the energizing essence of those crumbly brown nuggets of Sumatra in my coffee maker really brings out the glimmer in your droplets. Look, I’m a married man, but if I wasn’t, I would totally be gettin’ up in dat aqua, you feel me?

According to Dr. Masaru Emoto, I may have just created a more healthy and vibrant cup of coffee. Dr. Emoto is a revolutionary oracle of scientific knowledge, inasmuch as he has concocted his own definitions of the words “scientific” and “knowledge”. Dr. Emoto has “proven” (and it’s hard to find a source for his work that doesn’t nestle that word between the comforting pillows of quotation marks) that positive energy makes water better.

Not better-tasting, not more nutritious or refreshing… just better. Happier. More wholly fulfilled. Dr. Emoto unearthed that line where metaphysics and alternative medicine cross over into crazed Lynchian fiction, then leaped across it like a doped-up Olympian. He landed among the Technicolor bobbles of the absurd, cultivated his own particular brew of ludicrous reasoning and slapped a price tag on it.

And we bought in. Oh, how we bought in.

How could we not trust that sincere face?

How could we not trust that sincere face?

Masaru Emoto earned his doctorate at the Open University for Alternative Medicine in India, though I feel “earned” should be yet another resident of Quotes-Marks Manor, as I have unearthed a couple of sources which claim that such a degree can be bought for around $500. But Dr. Emoto’s doctorness is relatively moot, as he immediately set out to sail the vague ocean of alternative medicine, which contains far more fetid flotsam than it does navigable current. Read more…

Day 536: Gracia Mendes Nasi – The Heroine Of Antwerp

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After having poured so many ugly words into yesterday’s article – words like ‘vivisection’, ‘starvation’ and ‘plague-fleas’ – it’s a good day to spin that gloom around and turn it into the antithesis of gloom… moolg.

No wait, ‘moolg’ is apparently an Asian bathroom voyeur website. I really need to stop punching random letter combinations into my browser here at work.

For every soul-crushing villain like General Ishii there has to be a brave and valiant hero to compensate the great karmic wheel. Someone who puts their life at risk in an effort to save another soul (or souls) from certain doom. These important humans deserve equal or greater representation on this site. For that reason I’m happy to shine today’s spotlight on Gracia Mendes Nasi.

That’s ‘Nasi’, with an ‘s’.

GraciaMendesNasi

Gracia Nasi was born in Lisbon in 1510, in a time when being a Jew in Europe was a somewhat dicey affair. The Inquisition was making the rounds, doing their best to de-Jewify everyone because… well, I’m not quite certain of the logic here. Whatever logic tells the people of a given religion that it is imperative that everyone else think the exact same way they do, that’s the logic Gracia Nasi was running away from ever since she was born. Read more…