Tag: Craig David

Day 999: Buh-Bye, So Long and Hallelujah


It’s a completely valid question.

For the past 50 or so days I have been fielding one question more often than most: what am I going to do for Day 1000? Will the final kilograph reflect upon the 999 that came before, like some extended clip show of my greatest guffaws and most aww-rending moments? Will I spend my final entry in closing-credits mode, thanking those who have made this all possible and put up with my considerable dearth of free time over the last 2 years and almost 9 months?

In short… no. While my original intent was to meander down that self-serving footpath for my final article, I decided that I would only do so if I could cite the Wikipedia page that had been created about me – as it turns out, that doesn’t exist yet.

In order to figure out my final missive, I felt I should turn to the moulder of my wisdom, the sage oracle who has helped to shape my morality, my perception, and even my understanding of the world: television. I have experienced the highs and lows of series finales – certainly at least one of them could illuminate the road to a poignant, entertaining, and (most of all) worthy coda to this monstrous undertaking.


My first option is the beloved trope of bringing back a classic character for the finale. In my case I could introduce a surprise cameo by Yoko Ono, Craig David, Mary Nissenson, or if I really want to stretch to my roots, Phineas Gage. I could style the entire piece in a blend of haiku, musical theatre and secret code (did anyone ever figure that one out?). It sounds trite and cliché, but that’s always a place to start, isn’t it? Read more…

Day 32: Lecture Series – “What’s Your Flava?” Literary Analysis

Today’s seminar will deal with one of the most important poets to have emerged from England since Sir Linchley Hassbrumley of Limerick delivered to the throne his epic Poeme regarding the well-fortuned lad from Nantucket: Craig David. He unfurled this bastion of artistic purity in 2002, lending vocals through his arguably douche-y jiffy-marker beard, and stunning the world with his viscous lyricsmithery. Behold: the majesty of “What’s Your Flava?”

The opening plea for understanding: “What’s your flava? Tell me, what’s your flava?” speaks to Mr. David’s aching emptiness. The questions are repeated four times, establishing his desire, not only to know his subject’s flava, but to have this conveyed through verbiage, not by any other means. This may seem inconsequential now, but the duality within the forthcoming contradiction is foreshadowed with this sentiment. Mr. David wants us to know a smattering of everything right away, and he’s not afraid to offer so much space between the lines, we can’t help but read there.

Craig David being contemplative.

On to the verse:

“I met this fly girl in the club

Went by the name of Pecan Deluxe

This ice cream was high maintenance

When I took her out, man it cost me twenty bucks.”

Craig David being pensive.

The astonishing array of imagery in here immediately humbles the entirety of Wordsworth’s and Keats’ catalog of verse. Scholars have debated on whether or not the ‘ice cream’ here represents the girl, actual ice cream, or an unspoken wave of nihilistic defeatism that crept into his life like a heavy fog upon realizing that, in a world in which parents are free to torture their children by burdening them with such a name as ‘Pecan Deluxe’, then life has truly lost any sense of meaning. Read more…