Tag: Clip Show

Day 999: Buh-Bye, So Long and Hallelujah


It’s a completely valid question.

For the past 50 or so days I have been fielding one question more often than most: what am I going to do for Day 1000? Will the final kilograph reflect upon the 999 that came before, like some extended clip show of my greatest guffaws and most aww-rending moments? Will I spend my final entry in closing-credits mode, thanking those who have made this all possible and put up with my considerable dearth of free time over the last 2 years and almost 9 months?

In short… no. While my original intent was to meander down that self-serving footpath for my final article, I decided that I would only do so if I could cite the Wikipedia page that had been created about me – as it turns out, that doesn’t exist yet.

In order to figure out my final missive, I felt I should turn to the moulder of my wisdom, the sage oracle who has helped to shape my morality, my perception, and even my understanding of the world: television. I have experienced the highs and lows of series finales – certainly at least one of them could illuminate the road to a poignant, entertaining, and (most of all) worthy coda to this monstrous undertaking.


My first option is the beloved trope of bringing back a classic character for the finale. In my case I could introduce a surprise cameo by Yoko Ono, Craig David, Mary Nissenson, or if I really want to stretch to my roots, Phineas Gage. I could style the entire piece in a blend of haiku, musical theatre and secret code (did anyone ever figure that one out?). It sounds trite and cliché, but that’s always a place to start, isn’t it? Read more…

Day 250: The Big Spoiler

Today is the 250th day of 2012.

Today is also the day I cross a quarter-million words written this year. “Official” words, anyhow – only once have I landed square on 1000 words and not gone over. I am halfway to the halfway mark, and to the 500th-Article party I told my wife she’d have to throw for me. Balloons included.

So to celebrate, I am going to claim dominance over television history, and spoil the top 100 series finales, ranked by the millions of viewers who tuned in to watch it. In order to keep myself honest at 1000 words, each spoiler will consist of exactly ten words.

There are 164 finales listed, and the list appears to be current. I’d like to cover some that didn’t make the top 100 (seriously? Heroes at #146, two notches below Reba???), but math is math. Apologies to fans of #101 (Moonlighting – they got cancelled, ran around the set, pleading for leniency), but you didn’t make the cut. I’d apologize to fans of According To Jim, but most of them probably don’t read much anyway.

It should go without saying, but this is where the spoilers start. If you’re still catching up on some crucial DVD’s, sorry. I have also included the number of viewers who watched each finale, because I’m just that courteous. Read more…